Ellen: Oscars Show
The Oscars are this Sunday! Ellen’s whole show is Oscar themed today and sponsored by J.C. Penney.
Ellen: Oscars Jokes
Ellen had some of the best jokes in her monologue.
- The Oscars are on this Sunday on ABC, so you won’t be able to watch Revenge. You can see disappointment and jealousy thought!
- The biggest stars are coming out for the Oscars, unless of course they already came out at the Golden Globes.
- The rumor is that is took Daniel Day Lewis (Lincoln) eight months to get into the character of Daniel Day Lewis.
- This year they’ve stopped calling it the 85th Academy Awards, because it sounds too old. It’s just the Oscars. Tommy Lee Jones will now be going to Toe Joe.
- There are 24 awards and 52 movies nominated. Not one of them is a cat video.
Ellen: Oscars For Moms
Why aren’t there Oscars for being a mom? Or for doing some everyday activity? You could have Best Performance At A Thanksgiving With You In-Laws, Best Excuse For Being Late To Work, of Best Editing Of How You Feel About Your Best Friend’s Hair Cut.
Ellen: Underwear Model Search
Today was the deadline for the “Ellen Underwear Model” contest. Ellen got an excellent submission from Lindsay Butt.
“Ellen Underwear, made for butts. Mr. & Mrs. Butt that is!”
The Butts posed in pink Ellen underwear, but Ellen can only accept one model.
Another submission came from Joe, who likes to shop at J.C. Penney in his Ellen underwear.
Ellen is choosing her model on Monday, and she liked this contest so much it could start again on Tuesday. It’s been a lot of fun.
Ellen: What’s Up With That Photo, Photo?
This week, Ellen gave us photos of men standing in line at Disney, Vegas photo bombs and a restaurant menu reading “Fried Rice (Served Without Rice).” While you enjoy your plate, enjoy these photos.
Ellen: Amy’s Search For Love
Ellen tried to help Amy with her search for love and sent her to the Grand Slam Annual Star Trek convention. She got some helpful tips about finding love. Just go up to any guy at a Star Trek show and be nice to them. “They will marry you,” said a woman at the convention.
Amy asked someone to briefly explain Star Trek to her, because she’s actually never seen it. The man gave her a very long winded explanation. At the end Amy understood enough of it to say, “Wait, what?” She couldn’t even do the “Live long and prosper” hand sign.
She wanted to find a bad boy, so the convention suggested that she look for a Klingon. She finally found one who shook her up and down with a traditional Klingon hand shake.