Ellen: Vintage Advertising, Phone Books & The Bachelor

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Ellen: Vintage 1940s & 1950s Ads

Ellen DeGeneres took a walk down memory lane today with unbelievable real ads from America’s past. Here are some of the ads and slogans she and her team uncovered.

  • More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette! “Ask your doctor if emphysema’s right for you,” Ellen joked.
  • For a better start in life, start Cola earlier. The fine print read: “Laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and fitting in during those awkward pre-teen and teen years.” It was sponsored by The Soda Pop Board of America.
  • The soldiers need our help! Gather ‘roud, American Women! Turns out you gals are useful after all!

Ellen: Vintage Advertising

Ellen shared vintage American advertising on her show, pointing out how our attitudes have changed.

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Ellen: Phone Books

Ellen DeGeneres found an unwelcome visitor on her front doorstep when she left for work today. She brought it in to share with the audience.

“Kids, this is a phone book,” she explained. “I had no idea they were still printing these things.”

She said their only uses were as seat boosters for people like Snooki from Jersey Shore. After admitting that she is pregnant, Snooki will probably need phone books for her baby’s high chair.

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Now Ellen uses Siri on her iPhone to find the numbers she needs. Ellen said she watched a neighbor’s child try to figure out what the phone book was. “It just seems like a waste of paper, so if you get one, please recycle it,” she suggested.

Other uses for the phone book include a clever iPad cover or a book club selection.

Despite her feelings about phone books, Ellen said some things are still better the old fashioned way, like hand written notes. She also prefers phone conversations over text messages, and of course she believes in the power of dance.

Ellen: The Bachelor Women Tell All

Ellen has made it known that she is a fan of ABC’s dating reality show, The Bachelor. She showed clips of herself inserted into scenes from the show.

After this confrontational season of The Bachelor, Ellen wanted to show off some of her “deleted scenes” that didn’t make it into the episodes. Some of the bad CGI might make you seasick, so exercise caution if you’re watching Ellen’s clips.

Ellen: The Bachelor Women Tell All

Ellen also inserted herself into The Bachelor Women Tell All. Unlike the other women, “I really did come here to make friends,” she told host Chris Harrison. “I was not here for Ben. I mean, let’s face it. I was here for the girls.”

In the doctored Blakely confronted Ellen about being called a stripper, but Ellen explained that she was asking for the Swiffer to clean up after the ladies. Ellen’s other nonsensical explanations were intercut with rolled eyes and hateful stares from the actual Bachelor contestants.

I will be glad when The Bachelor season is over so Ellen can move on to something else. The Ellen team could stand to learn about not letting these taped pieces drag on too long.

Ellen Dance Song: “Things That Make You Go Hmmm” MP3

Ending a two-day dry spell, Ellen danced with her audience to “Things That Make You Go Hmmm…” by C+C Music Factory.

Click here to download the MP3 of C+C Music Factory’s “Things That Make You Go Hmmm.”

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