Ellen: Monsieur Lezonge & Jessica Cabot Weekly Tweetly Roundup
“Just ate a whole bag of chips but it was “reduced fat” so it was basically like going to the gym.” – Tyler Schmall
“Look, it’s not you, it’s DiGiorno.” – Jessica Cabot
“The best thing about telepathy is… I know, right?” – Donni
“I don’t have any tattoos or piercings, so you’ll have to settle for my love handles as proof of my bold and dangerous lifestyle choices.” – Monsieur Lezonge
“There is no sadder place on the Internet that the section of Craigslist where people seek out McDonald’s Monopoly game pieces.” – Vanessa Ramos
“I think my abs look pretty good for a mother of two kids. I don’t have two kids.” – Eliza Bayne
Tippy Toes Towel Review & Damp Digit Dryer
The Tippy Toes Towel is the most unfortunate product ever to be invented. Ellen found it on one of those late night shopping binges she gets every now and then. Basically, air drying your toes got too difficult.
Someone ripped up the center of a towel so you can slide your toes through and dry your foot. Just don’t share it with when your uncle with athlete’s foot visits. Ellen invented the Damp Digit Dryer. Fits like a glove! All you do is slide it on your hand and boom. Dried hands. She’s send you one for $89.95. If you order in the next ten minutes, she’ll send you a second Damp Digit Dryer for free. Hurry!
Viggle with Ellen: Holly Goss Wins $20,000
Ellen has been Viggle-ing all month. One lucky viewer, Holly Goss from Hawkinsville, Georgia, won $20,000 just by watching the show and checking in. Her husband was working 80 hours a week to support their family. They have a young son named Hunter and Ellen was very happy to help them out and share the love.
Billboard Music Awards Heads Up! App Challenge
Ellen gave her audience member Taylor a chance to win four tickets to the Billboard Music Awards this Sunday. Taylor played Heads Up!, the number one game in the app store. She was amazing at getting music celebrities and Ellen gave her the tickets.