Ellen: National Stress Awareness Month & Funny Real Estate Listings

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Dick Clark Dead At 82

NBC News anchor Brian Williams cut into Ellen’s monologue on my station today to announce some sad news. American Bandstand host and New Year’s Rockin’ Eve fixture Dick Clark died today of a heart attack at the age of 82.

He’s been a pop culture fixture for twice as long as I’ve been alive, and he certainly leaves a behind a lasting mark on American music and television. Rest in peace, Dick Clark.

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Ellen: Stress Relief

Ellen shared stress causes and relief techniques for National Stress Awareness Month.

Ellen: National Stress Awareness Month

Ellen DeGeneres said she read that stress costs US businesses $300 billion annual. She conjectured that ⅔ of that is spent on pencils people gnaw on when they’re stressed. My question for Ellen is, what office still has pencils in 2012?

Two main causes of stress are worrying too much about the future, as well as teenagers. Teens are usually stressed and cause stress wherever they go. Ellen suggested stress busters such as exercise, drinking, or reading.

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Ellen also suggested some unique strategies, such as bringing your pet to work. This has been found to boost employee satisfaction. But that could end badly, she noted, if your coworkers have exotic pets such as boa constrictors.

Cleaning also helps some people relax. Others believe gossip or telling secrets releases stress. “That seems like a terrible idea,” Ellen said.

Of course, there are some tried and true stress relievers that the Ellen Show is founded on. One is laughter, which releases tension in the body and lowers stress hormones. Plus, it’s contagious. Unsurprisingly, Ellen’s favorite stress reliever is dancing.

Ellen: Sophia Grace & Rosie Return

My stress level is on the rise, because Ellen announced that Sophia Grace and Rosie are returning next week. Joy of joys. At least Ellen recognizes that Rosie is too often in Sophia Grace’s shadow. She put together a montage of Rosie’s greatest moments as the duo’s Hype Girl.

Rosie’s talents seem to involve looking nervous and being awkward, in which case I am a full time Hype Girl. These two British beauties are coming back to Ellen’s show on April 26 2012.

Ellen: Really Real Real Estate Jokes

Ellen scoured the nation’s real estate listings, discovering that the economy is on the rebound. She shared some of the funny ads that have turned up online. I’m not sure all of these are going to get the intended results.

  • Madison, WI: House for sale by owner because my neighbor’s an asshole!
  • Seattle, WA: Three bedroom, 1.75 baths, washer and dryer. NO DOGS. Up to twenty-eight cats allowed.
  • Orange County, CA: Spacious two-bedroom house. (For this ad, Ellen checked out the photos, which all featured fresh flowers to spruce up the otherwise empty house. They even posed the flowers outside for one photo.)
  • Portland, OR: This home ad featured beautiful pictures and modern decor. But the bathroom picture featured one of Ellen’s favorite weird quirks. There was a naked man in the mirror, taking a shower in the background of this photo.

Ellen: Baby Pig & Dog Video

Ellen found an Internet video of a baby pig and dog gently playing and rolling in the floor together. That’s a stress reliever if you ask me, but I can’t find the video on YouTube. If any of you have seen it, let me know.

Ellen: WeTopia on Facebook

Do you think Ellen actually has a Facebook account? She claims she does, and that she uses it to play WeTopia, just like you and me. She has 38,000 neighbors in the game, which is a watered down version of Farmville, but for charity.

The game has added Ellen tie ins to decorate your online neighborhood.

Ellen Dance Song: “Everybody Everybody”

Today’s Dance Song was Black Box’s “Everybody Everybody.”

Download an MP3 of “Everybody Everybody” by Black Box.

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