Ellen: Matthew Perry Polar Bear Joke
Matthew Perry is co-hosting with Ellen today and he made everyone wait as long as he could before he told another joke. Remember his puppet joke? This one might be even better, or worse, depending on how funny you think Matthew Perry is.
There is a polar bear in the North Pole and he asks his polar bear mother, “Am I really a polar bear?” His mother told him of course you are. The young polar bear did not believe her though so he went to his father and asked his father, “Am I really a polar bear?” His father looked at him and said of course you are. The little polar bear didn’t believe his father either so his father asked, “Why would you think you’re not a polar bear?” and the young polar bear said, “Because I’m cold.”
Since it is so hard to gauge how much, or how little, people like Matthew Perry’s jokes, Ellen came up with two bumper stickers. One reads, “I think Matthew Perry is funny,” while the other reads, “I don’t think Matthew Perry is funny.”
Now Ellen can just drive around to find out what people think about the jokes.
Ellen: Here’s My Talent
Ellen is offering $10,000 during her Ellen Here’s My Talent segment where she is asking her fans to send in some of their best talents in the hopes of winning the money. Well Ellen had a preview of some of the best talents she has received so far and they all seemed like winners to me.
One lady showed Ellen how she could put a bunch of coins in her neck, another person sent in a video of her tying a shoe with her feet while out in a blizzard and finally a young man did a spot on impression of Jennifer Tilly. You can check out the video below to see all the talents.
Oh, and Matthew Perry told Ellen he would pay her $10,000 if he never had to watch the Jennifer Tilly impression ever again.
Ellen: Mathew Perry’s Tom Cruise Game
Tom Cruise has a new movie coming out April 19 2013, and to celebrate the premiere of Oblivion, Matthew Perry decided he and Ellen would play a Tom Cruise game. The object of the game was for Ellen to say whether Tom Cruise runs, jumps or swims in the movies Perry said.
- Rain Man – Ellen said he swims but he actually ran.
- Cocktail – Ellen said he runs, jumps and swims which was correct.