Ellen: Taking a Day Off
Ellen DeGeneres said that sometimes it’s nice to have an extra day off, just to feel like you’ve gotten caught up on everything. She said it’s almost as hard to remember everything they have to get done as it is to do it.
The audience agreed that sometimes by the time you find a pen, you have forgotten what you needed to write down. Ellen pointed out text messaging, email, and all the apps we have now that can help remind us what we have to do.
It’s ironic that Ellen’s monologue is about taking a day off, and this happens to be a repeat episode, which means she probably has the day off in real life. Just think what Ellen has done to the space-time continuum.
Ellen: New iPhone Reminders
Ellen talked about the new iPhone, saying it has two different ways to help you manage your reminders and to do list. But she said it still can’t remind you not to leave your phone behind at home.
She complained about how all this technology is making us forget things we used to have to remember, like phone numbers, birthdays, and much more. She’s got a point about this. How many phone numbers do you know from memory anymore?
Ellen said she isn’t good at keeping up with lists and reminders. Instead, she tries to accomplish the things she has to get done by doing them right away, as soon as she thinks about them. Then she dashed backstage because she forgot to turn off her crock pot.
Ellen: Andy Zenor’s Dance Dares
Ellen’s friend Andy Zenor might be Dancer Zero behind this whole Dance Dare craze. Ellen showed some behind the scenes footage of Andy dancing behind Ellen’s staff members throughout their offices and even behind Ellen onstage during rehearsals.
This has spawned the whole Dance Dare craze, which has led to some amazing videos in recent weeks. Check out Ellen’s St. Patrick’s Day Dance Dares and even More Dance Dares from Ellen’s show. Check out Andy Zenor’s Ireland Trip.
Ellen: More Clumsy Thumbsy Messages
Ellen DeGeneres did another segment of hilarious text messages thanks to the magic of autocorrect. It thinks it’s helping you spell better, but instead it’s creating wacky misunderstandings.
Ellen: Wayne Newton Autocorrect Text Messages
Rita from Florida sent Ellen this silly exchange:
- Hey Mom, how’s Vegas?
- Absolutely amazing! I finally screwed Wayne Newton and even got his autograph afterwards!
- TMI Mother! What ever happened to “What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas?” Does Dad know?
- OMG That was supposed to be SAW! This phone is going in the trash when I get home.
Ellen: Applesauce Payment Text Message
Ellen said her staff found this message online:
- Hey bro, I hate to ask this but could you spot me some cash?
- Hi, what for and how much?
- I’m like $300 short on my MOTTS APPLESAUCE payment due on the 15th.
- Uh, how much applesauce did you buy from them? WTF Jason.
- I am laughing so hard I can’t breathe. I wrote mortgage payment.
Ellen: Funny Text Message Autocorrect
Here’s another message Ellen found online.
- Hey mom, can I sleep at Greg’s tonight? We’re just going to bang. Greg’s mom doesn’t care also.
- Your momma did not raise a slut. So no you can’t bang at Greg’s tonight.
- Oh man, sorry mom. I meant hang. I promise.
- Just come home.
This episode originally aired on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. It was obvious that it’s a repeat when Ellen and DJ Tony talked about football scores. The Saints won that weekend, which made Ellen sad, but Tony’s team, the 49ers, won.
Ellen thanked the New Orleans Saints and her friend Drew Brees for an amazing season. Read more about Ellen’s Charity Work With Drew Brees.
Ellen Dance Song: “Break Your Heart” MP3
The song of the day for Ellen’s dance with the audience was Taio Cruz’s “Break Your Heart.”