Ellen: Holiday Parking Rules, First Night of Hanukkah & Epic or Fail

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Ellen: Parking Rules

Ellen kicked off her show today by talking about all of the parking rules she thinks people should abide by for the holiday season. The first rule was that no one was allowed to back into a space. “You think you can do it and I’m here to tell you, you cannot do it. You don’t know how to do it,” she joked. “I could’ve watched three Hobbit movies in the time it took you to back that thing up.”

Ellen joked about a gardener who recently found hallucinogenic mushrooms in the Royal Garden. (Shaun Jeffers / Shutterstock.com)

Ellen joked about a gardener who recently found hallucinogenic mushrooms in the Royal Garden. (Shaun Jeffers / Shutterstock.com)

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The second rule is that you have 30 seconds to get out of your space when someone else is waiting. She said the clock starts ticking the moment your first kid gets into the car. If the fourth kid doesn’t make it, leave him behind.

The third rule was that you can’t park your giant SUV in a compact space. “This is a true story. I saw an Escalade in a compact space and a Smart Car driver was so mad they pulled into the trunk of the Escalade and parked,” she said.

Ellen said no one should be allowed to fill up their trunk and go back into the mall, and motorcycles should not be allowed in full spaces. However, Ellen said she thought celebrities should be allowed in expectant mother spots.

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Ellen TV: First Night of Hanukkah

Because tonight is the first night of Hanukkah, Ellen asked her production assistant Ari to light the Ellen Store Menorah. He had a lot of trouble lighting the candles. Ellen totally pranked him with fake candles. Ari tried his best to light any of the candles and none of them would work.

Ellen took a break to listen to a toy Anna sing “Let It Go” from Frozen, then returned to Ari, who was still having trouble. Then Ellen apologized for Ari’s bad menorah skills.

Ellen: Hallucinogenic Mushrooms

Ellen had a story from across the pond on the show. A gardener who works for the queen found hallucinogenic mushrooms growing in the Royal Garden. Ellen joked that the queen has denied trying any of the magic mushrooms. Ellen showed a funny edited clip of the queen answering a question about the mushrooms, saying she hadn’t tried any, but that she wanted to know why the reporter was purple.

Ellen TV: Epic or Fail

Ellen played a game of Epic or Fail with her audience. This is a game where she played the first part of a clip, then paused. Ellen and her audience held up a paddle to signify whether they thought it was going to be epic or a fail. The first one was an epic snowboarder. Then there was a man on his roof trying to knock down the snow who ended up getting carried away by the snow falling off his roof. But the best one was a skiier who skiied down a hill, only to hit a pool of water and ski right over it.

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