Ellen: Gluteus Mikesimus Sells Underwear & New One Direction Bandmate

Ellen: Animal Planet Explains the Birds & the Bees

Ellen: Gluteus Mikesimus Sells Underwear & New One Direction Bandmate

Did you know that there’s a sixth One Direction bandmate? Ellen has their new film trailer. (Featureflash / Shutterstock.com)

Ellen loves animals, but watching Animal Planet can be a challenge. They often play educational shows about species and ethologists, or people who look at animals mating, explain just what the species does in the springtime. Ellen decided to educate her audience and us at home about the animal kingdom and how it grows.

Black widow spiders kill their mates after breeding. “At least Taylor Swift just writes a song about you,” Ellen said.

Finding Nemo didn’t explain everything about clown fish, apparently. They are all born male, but when it’s time to mate some of them switch to female. Ellen said the only way to tell the difference is that the female gets paid half as much.

The staff accidentally put a photo of Hugh Hefner and a Playboy Bunny on the screen. Ellen said that scientists still haven’t figured that out yet.

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Ellen: Down Unda Underwear Model Search

Gluteus Mikesimus can’t make the trip to Australia, so Ellen is looking for an Aussie underwear model. You can apply on her website and she’d be more than thrilled to make you her underwear model when she goes to Australia next week. Ellen, if you want help looking through submissions, I’m available.

Ellen: Taylor Swift Sing-Along

Ellen’s audience had a little sing-along to Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.

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Ellen: One Direction Movie

Even the most die-hard Directioners may not realize that Ellen’s staffer Dave is a member of the boy band. Take a look at Ellen’s exclusive trailer for their new film and see for yourself.

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Ellen: Gluteus Mikesimus

Speak of the underwear model and he shall appear. Gluteus Mikesimus said his professors at college found out about his new job. He’s currently going to school for exercise science and his new nickname is “Supermodel.”

Ellen said his assignment today is to go to an office on Ellen’s lot and visit the ladies working late. He brought some Ellen underwear with him and did a little dancing for the ladies.

Gluteus Mikesimus climbed on a desk and showed them all just how easy it is to move in the underwear. He made a receptionist feel very uncomfortable and then another woman came and put some dollar bills in his waistband. All notions of this being a family friendly show are quickly flying out the window.

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About the author

I'm an entertainment news junkie with a passion for writing. I'm a graduate of the E.W. Scripps School of Journalism at Ohio University, go Bobcats! Tina Fey and Ryan Seacrest are my heros and Suri Cruise is my spirit animal.

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