Ellen: How To Get Through a Long Flight
In case you didn’t hear, Ellen just got back from Australia. She’s incredibly jet lagged and she had some tips on getting back on your feet after a long flight.
First, Ellen said they always fly Qantas. They took care of her in style. She stayed in one of their special cubicles in first class and had monogrammed pillows and blankets. Even the napkins had “Ellen” on them.
It’s also important to keep yourself entertained. Get a crossword puzzle or Ellen’s book, Seriously, I’m Kidding. Let’s be clear. Ellen is not above shameless self-promotion. Next, drink. Drink a lot of tequila, Ellen advises. And you’re going to want to dance immediately after you land to get your blood circulating.
Ellen: What’s Up With These Signs Signs?
Ellen’s viewers send her some funny stuff. She asked for signs that just aren’t quite right this week.
- OB/GYN Family Fun Fest This Way
- Violators Will Be Towed And Find $50
- Psychic Cleaners $2.50
- Soon Fatt Chinese Take Away
- Beware Falling Coconuts
My personal favorite was “Beware Falling Coconuts.” It looked like the palm tree was throwing the coconuts at the little family. The best part is the grown up male figure was carrying a large lollipop. Where did that come from?
Ellen: Beach Pranks
Ellen loves to play pranks. It’s all in good fun, right? Ellen and her writers Kevin and Lauren decided to make people in Australia feel awkward. Lauren and Kevin went out to the beach with wires in their ears. Ellen fed them instructions and what to say from inside.
Kevin’s character had little concept of personal space. He liked to sit down on the beach with people and sing them Bette Midler songs. He carried a metal detector and played with the people on the beach.
Lauren wasn’t very good at the trick. She laughed at everything Ellen told her to say before she said it.