Ellen Works at JC Penney
Ellen recently returned to New Orleans for a weekend trip. While there, she returned to the JC Penney in Metarie, Louisiana, where she had one of her first jobs as a teen. She shared a video featuring highlights from her day on the job, and she is a little rusty.
Store manager Mary Sue told Ellen things have changed in the 25 years since she last worked in the store. Ellen helped out at the customer service desk, accepting a return from a woman who was concerned about not having her receipt.
As noted in one of Ellen’s new JC Penney commercials, the company does not require a receipt for returns.
Ellen: JC Penney Customer Service
Ellen did a horrible job of folding and bagging a customer’s items, crumpling the bag for good measure.
Ellen’s next stop was the optical center, where she grilled a couple about their vision problems. Her exam questions included whether the woman could see a stop sign from as much as 15 miles away.
Ellen: JC Penney Fitting Rooms
Then it was on to the fitting rooms, where she did Knock Knock Jokes with women who were trying on clothes. Ellen even recommended some ridiculous outfits, including a Strawberry Costume and some Southern dresses complete with big hats.
Next it was on to shoes, where Ellen tried to help by testing a woman’s reflexes using a high heel shoe. She also suggested trying out shoes by hopping on one foot while wearing them, and then straddling with a wide stance.
Ellen: JC Penney Optical Exam
Ellen’s continually outrageous suggestions started to wear thin in what was one of her longer taped pieces. Back at the optical center, she asked her victim about the distance from which she could see pets and whether she’d seen her mother naked.
Eventually she took a lunch break in front of the customers, who put up with her shenanigans far longer than I would’ve. After that, she checked the woman’s ears and had her try on glasses, offering her a giant suitcase for her glasses.
Ellen: JC Penney Hair Salon
Later, Ellen put curlers in her hair for a visit to the store’s salon, showed off her hideous and poofy blond wig, and got her picture taken with children in the portrait studio. I guess Ellen should stick to her day job, because she makes a terrible sales employee.
To reward her audience for watching that video, Ellen gave each of them a $100 JC Penney gift card. Where’s mine?
Ellen: Boston TV Station 40th Anniversary
At the end of today’s show, Ellen congratulated WCVB, channel 5 in Boston. The station is celebrating its 40th anniversary this year.