Ellen: 50 Shades Of Grey Review
Ellen DeGeneres is the latest TV personality to talk about the “naughty” new book 50 Shades Of Grey, which is tearing up the sales charts on Amazon and getting the attention of many others in the media. Read Dr Oz’s 50 Shades Of Grey Review.
“Here are two words I never want to hear together in a sentence: mommy and porn,” Ellen said.
Incidentally, Ellen reported that her friend Chef Roberto’s new cookbook, Vegan Cooking For Carnivores, is #10 on Amazon’s bestseller list.
Ellen: 50 Shades Of Grey Controversy
“I wanted to find out what it was all about, so I got a copy and I started reading it, and I have to say, it really wasn’t that bad,” Ellen reported. “Then I got to page 2. What is wrong with you heterosexuals?”
The book follows a young woman named Anastasia and her older lover, businessman Christian Grey, who “uses kinky sex to awaken her inner goddess.”
Ellen: 50 Shades Of Grey Audiobook Audition
Ellen said the book made her nauseous, but that didn’t stop her from auditioning to narrate the audiobook version of 50 Shades Of Grey.
She showed a clip featuring highlights of her audition. “I’m not going to say that,” Ellen said about certain passages, asking for permission to paraphrase so she could avoid certain words.
“He guides his hands across my secret garden,” was one of her paraphrase suggestions. She even tried acting out some of the story’s sound effects using props like handcuffs and a paddleball.
“He took out his ball peen hammer,” she continued, before making more sound effects with chains and improvised moaning. “Thank God there are no pictures in here,” she observed.
I’m not sure Ellen has much of a future in audiobooks, given her underplayed performance reading this audiobook. She’s likely much more suited to voicing children’s animated movies or her own comedic essays. Maybe Teen Voiceover Artist Jake Foushee is available for audiobooks.
Ellen: Take Your Daughter To Work Day
For Take Your Daughter To Work Day, Ellen introduced her daughter, Rafter Yellow. “She’s a teenager. You know what that’s like,” Ellen said of her sullen, embarrassed daughter.
Ellen: What’s Wrong With These Signs?
Ellen also shared more of your submissions for messed up and wacky signs spotted out and about.
- Kelly in California sent a grocery store sign for ‘Water’ hanging over shelves of Wine.
- Nadeen in Washington spotted this sign: “Wash & Vacuum Senior Citizens $15.95.”
- Crystal from Colorado sent a sign from her botanical garden that prohibited all types of activities, including what appeared to be grave digging.
Ellen: Sophia Grace & Rosie
If you’ve been living under a rock for the last week, you may not have heard that Sophia Grace and Rosie are back on the show today. Ellen said she is afraid that all the attention is going to the girls’ heads, showing a picture of them parking their pink Power Wheels car and tricycle in her parking spot.
Ellen Dance Song: “I Know You Got Soul”
Ellen and her faux daughter, Rafter Yellow, moved through the audience (though Rafter refused to dance) to Bobby Byrd’s “I Know You Got Soul.”
Download an MP3 of “I Know You Got Soul” by Bobby Byrd.