Ellen: Comedian Kevin Nealon
As talk show hosts occasionally point out, they don’t really know every guest who appears on their shows. People assume Ellen, Oprah, and others are friends with everyone they interview, but the reality is it would be impossible to maintain relationships with so many people.
That’s why it’s always even more fun when a host actually gets a visit from one of their close friends, like when Kevin Nealon dropped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
“I’m in a tough position,” he complained. “I have to follow Brad Pitt and Armie Hammer. How do you think that makes me look?”
Kevin Nealon: President Obama’s Afro
The friends waded into politics, and Kevin Nealon said he thinks that it’s a tough time to be president. He suggested that President Obama should slowly grow an Afro in the coming months, but not say anything about it, “just to show how tough he really is.”
He also suggested completing the look with some platform shoes. Kevin Nealon said you can’t blame Obama for the economy, because things would be different if Wesley Snipes had paid his taxes.
Kevin Nealon: St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago
Kevin Nealon spent St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago, where “every St. Patty’s Day, they dye the river green,” he said. “And then the day after that, they go back to dying it brown again.”
He said that recovering from those types of drinking holidays takes too long, and now he can observe the revelers from a different perspective. He would rather be sleeping than hungover. I am with you on that, Mr. Nealon.
He said that Spring nights make for good sleeping weather, because you can leave the windows open at night. That makes sense, but I don’t know about his plans to sleep in his backyard during summer, running the air conditioning outside through his window. Ellen pointed out that his utility bills must be very high.
Kevin Nealon Watches Courtroom TV
To unwind, Kevin Nealon told Ellen he enjoys watching courtroom TV. He’s not talking about the small claims shows, but the actual newsmaking trials shown on cable news channels, which he calls “The Pretty Girl Trials.”
He said that the pretty girls on trial never go to prison, because smitten jury members might be conspiring to keep them out among the general public. He said that unattractive defendants might have a tougher time in court.
Kevin Nealon said he caught himself sympathizing with Casey Anthony because of his attraction to her, but he became more convinced of her guilt as he began to notice her physical flaws. I wouldn’t want Kevin Nealon on my jury.
Kevin Nealon: Sexiest Man Alive
Though Brad Pitt was once named People’s Sexiest Man Alive, Kevin Nealon said he often competes with Brad and George for the same title.
But he explained that he was talking about Brad Garrett and George Lopez, and the magazine in question is Peephole, not People.
Kevin Nealon: Gas Prices
Kevin Nealon said he is skeptical of the reasons why gas prices are on the rise. He noted that products like petroleum jelly don’t seem to ever go up in price, and it would be nice if that could fuel our cars.
Kevin Nealon Standup Comedy
Kevin Nealon is touring and performing standup comedy. Ellen said he has upcoming performances in Cleveland, Ohio, and Houston, Texas. More dates and ticket information are available online at kevinnealon.com.