Dr Phil: Jeff’s Affair & Rocky Marriage
April and Jeff have had a very rocky marriage. She makes more money than him and often verbally abuses Jeff. Jeff tried to find love in his coffee shop and found a mistress that destroyed his relationship with April. Dr Phil sees right through their ridiculous excuses and wants them to own up.
Dr Phil: April’s Drinking & Verbal Abuse
April said her drinking used to be social and fun, but she’s seen a lot of pain coming from her drinking in the past. Jeff said that his wife has been using her alcohol to hurt him. She would drink to escape and feel better, but ended up hurting Jeff and their family.
Dr Phil said pouring alcohol on your problems is a horrible decision. He wants everyone to be honest and own up to their junk, but I’m not sure that April is ready. She said the drinking has stopped, so that’s good at least.
Dr Phil: Did April Marry Beneath Her?
Dr Phil said that they have a marriage problem that is greater than the infidelity problem. April insists that she didn’t marry beneath her and Jeff had a moment where he was blaming April for the infidelity.
He said that April and Jeff are not ready to get real about the situation. He threw their contradictions in their faces and made them own up to the emasculating and using. April had an ah-ha moment with her abuse. Dr Phil told her that she thinks she is better than Jeff. She has called Jeff bald, short, fat, ugly and still doesn’t think that was wrong.
Dr Phil: April’s Mother
Dr Phil said April’s mother, Karen, has inserted herself into this horrible relationship. She wants April to get rid of her freeloading husband. She said she has watched her daughter’s drinking and Jeff’s laziness for the last five years. She doesn’t think that the relationship can be saved. Karen said her daughter has tried to put this all aside, but doesn’t think it’s healthy.
Karen said she loves Jeff as her son-in-law, but she doesn’t think that he can provide for her daughter as a husband.
Dr Phil: April’s Non-Neogtiables
April said she had several non-negotiables, things that Jeff and she have to work on in order to move forward.
- Jeff must provide financially
- Jeff must make April feel wanted
- Jeff must be affectionate like he used to be
- Jeff must communicate with April
- Jeff can never, ever, ever lie again
Trust is very important now. April said she thinks she can forgive Jeff, but lately they haven’t felt like husband and wife. Jeff said these are doable and he wants to provide for their family.
Dr Phil’s Side
Dr Phil said that not every marriage can be saved. He doesn’t know if this marriage should be saved if they can’t own their problems. He said infidelity is never, ever okay. This happened, it needs to stop and Jeff has to be open with his wife. April needs to communicate with Jeff as well. They must create a true partnership again or this will never work.
He said that they need to make sacrifices and work together as partners to solve their debt and problems. He advises them to give the relationship and counseling 60 days. If that doesn’t work they should step away from the relationship.