Dr. Phil: Why Did She Videotape The Abuse Instead of Stopping It?


Dr. Phil: Woman Spanked With Wooden Spoon

Dr. Phil has been sitting down with Renee, the woman who videotaped her husband spanking her with a wooden spoon. This is the second part of a two-parter and after hearing her husband Kirby’s side of the story (albeit a crazy and incoherent one), Dr. Phil got to hear Renee’s side of the story.

Dr. Phil: Why Did She Videotape The Abuse Instead of Stopping It?

For months before she left the relationship, Renee videotaped Kirby’s abuse of herself and her children, including a time when Kirby held down his 14-year-old shirtless son and hit his belly until it was red. Just recently, Renee learned her boys were spanked a lot. Some of her five kids say they were spanked on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day.


Dr. Phil: Why did She Videotape The Abuse Instead of Stopping It?

Dr. Phil asked Renee why she videtaped herself and her children being abused, rather than step in and stop the abuse. (eatcute / Shutterstock.com)

Dr. Phil wondered why she videotaped the abuse, rather than stopping it. Renee said it was the best thing to do, because without the video, it could have been worse for her or her husband. She wanted to make sure she had to proof to get everyone help, including Kirby. Dr. Phil agreed she gave a longer-term safety window for her children by videotaping it rather than stepping in. Dr. Phil said if Kirby had been choking one of their children or doing something to threaten their life, Dr. Phil would have advised she intervene. Renee agreed that was totally different.

Dr. Phil: Letter From Their Son

Dr. Phil shared a letter from Renee and Kirby’s 22-year-old son, their oldest. In the letter, the son showed compassion for his father, while still trying to distance himself from him.


He said his mom was “very intelligent so she knows how to spin things and make you feel dumb”. He said Kirby was losing control and so he spanked her because he didn’t know what else to do. But the son was upset because he saw his father say to someone that was “just two whacks” on the butt. The son hasn’t talked to his father in a month after that.

“He’s not crazy. He’s not out to hurt my mom. He’s not a bad guy. He’s just confused,” the son said of his father Kirby.

Dr. Phil: Are The Children Confused?

Renee said her children understand that it was against the law to hit them and her and that it was wrong, but the kids were confused because they saw their mom in their dad’s face. The kids were taught that a wife and mother should be subservient to a father, so when she speaks up, they feel like that’s wrong.


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