Dr. Phil: Marital Problems, Spousal Abuse And Owning Your Behavior


Dr. Phil: Mary’s Marital Problems And Abuse

He calls her every insult under the sun, told her that he has never loved her, and even said that he only ever married her for the sake of the kids, calling her a “booty call that got pregnant.” Dr. Charles Sophy, a psychiatrist and Medical Director for the County of Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services, says “they were done from the start, these two.”  Jesse, Mary’s husband, expels all this abuse to get attention, and has cheated on her as well. Oh, and they have three children together. Can Dr. Phil help them solve their marital problems?


“I pray to god every day that somebody takes you away from me so I can be rid of you,” says Jesse, according to Mary, “as a matter or fact, I’ll even pay for the first date,” he adds. After following his directions, Jesse went back in the other direction, selling Mary’s car behind her back, checking the house phone on a daily basis, not allowing her to leave the house alone (according to her, she hasn’t left the house alone for five months), taking her cell phone, and making her quit her job. Talk about a maniac—but is everyone telling the whole truth?

Dr. Phil: Jesse Won’t Take All The Blame For Marital Problems

While Mary says that Jesse is controlling her, he called it “controlling the beast.” He never considered the cheating he did as “cheating” because, apparently, Mary always knew he had girlfriends. In Jesse’s world, “cheating” is only “cheating” when the other person doesn’t know about it. Go give this new definition a test run in your marriage or relationship today!


According the Jesse, Mary isn’t entirely innocent. She has left scratches on his car and threatened him with the police, asking “who would they believe?” and saying she would scratch her neck up to pin the blame on him for any disputes. So it appears that Jesse’s behavior isn’t entirely unprovoked.

Dr. Phil: Marital Problems, Spousal Abuse And Owning Your Behavior

Will Mary and Jesse be able to overcome their marital problems, or are they beyond Dr. Phil’s help?

She has struck Jesse, left holes in the walls, and destroyed his 60-inch TV. When he found out about the cheating, Jesse said that he gave Mary an ultimatum: either be a stay at home mom or exit the marriage.

Dr. Phil: Marital Problems & Abuse

After watching the of the damaged marriage, Dr. Charles Sophy decided it was time to pay these two a visit in their home, the see the carnivores in their natural environment. Jesse feels that Mary allowed herself to get pregnant so as to trap him in the marriage. Mary insists that she is in the prison because, even when she does leave the house, Jesse is always calling her.

Dr. Sophy, after listening, decided that this is not a problem coming from just one person or the other, but from both parties. “You’re both bullies,” he said. Things have gotten to the point where neither of them even know if they want to salvage the marriage because they don’t even know if they love each other anymore.

Dr. Phil: Ultimatums & Owning Your Behavior

Dr. Charles Sophy, before starting the healing process, asked that the couple each give one another five things they will no longer live with. Mary no longer wanted to be belittled, called names, disrespected, or any more mistreatment of her and the children (that’s four, but okay).

After Mary, Jesse gave the five things he wouldn’t tolerate either. He doesn’t want to discuss Mary’s job anymore, put up with her disrespect, Mary’s name calling, or Mary slandering Jesse’s character (uh, counting four again, but moving right along).

Dr. Sophy made a suggestion—that the two start taking ownership for their actions and stop blaming the other for making him or her do this or that. Only you can control your attitude and how you behave.


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