Dr Phil: Leah Blames Curtis for Jessica’s Death & Loving Through Grief


Dr Phil: Living In A Sister’s Shadow

Jessica died in a car accident over 10 years ago. Her mother has preserved her bedroom and often visits it to feel her presence. The problem is that she has four other children, including two young daughters, that want her love and need the space.

Chloe is nine and lives in the shadow of her big sister Jessica. She shares a room with her five-year-old sister and wants her own room. With Jessica gone, Chloe asked her parents if she could take the vacant bedroom. Leah and Curtis told her someday, but Chloe thinks that this is the perfect time for a change. She believes that she would have loved to have been Jessica’s sister, but her mom needs to heal.


Dr Phil: Leah Blames Curtis for Jessica's Death & Loving Through Grief

Dr Phil told Leah that she is wrong to blame her husband for Jessica’s death. Packing up Jessica’s room doesn’t mean that Leah loves her any less.

Dr Phil: Leah Wishes Curtis Were Dead & Packing Up Jessica’s Room

Dr Phil told Leah that there are different levels to the problems in Leah and Curtis’ marriage. He said saying that Curtis should be dead has brought Leah down to a low level. He knows that Leah is better than this because her children are good people. The children are angry that they only get a portion of their mother because she is so consumed with grief.

“You should focus on every day that she lived, not the day she died,” Dr Phil said. He then began to dissect the most painful part of all of this.


“You believe that the day you let that room go, is the day you say I’ve reached the limit of my love for you,” he said. Leah was hysterical because Dr Phil was right. She does believe that when she packs up Jessica’s room is the day she gives up on her daughter, which is not true.

Dr Phil said the amount of love for Jessica is not measured in the length and depth of grief that Leah pours out.


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