Dr Phil: First Four Minutes Rule & How To Be a Successful Negotiator


Dr Phil: Rhea’s Cleaning Schedule

Rhea and Nate were heading towards divorce. Nate just couldn’t keep up with Rhea’s detailed cleaning schedule. Dr Phil told them that they need to release control and work on compromising in their marriage.

Dr Phil: Successful Negotiator

Dr Phil put a bug in Rhea’s ear to help lead their conversation. He told her to ask Nate how he wants to show love. Nate said that he shows love by protecting their family, providing for them and professing love to Rhea. She said that she really feels love when he does things for her. Nate said he couldn’t do that.


Dr Phil coached Rhea and Nate through the conversation. She told Nate she wants to learn how to show him love and in turn make compromises on her love language.

Dr Phil: Finding Your Partner’s Currency

To be a successful negotiator, Dr Phil encouraged Nate to look at what matters to Rhea. Rhea needs to know that he cares about her. At the same time, Rhea needs to find out what Nate’s love language is. Once they can show that to each other, they will be able to negotiate on their life together.


Dr Phil: First Four Minutes Rule & How To Be a Successful Negotiator

Dr Phil told Rhea and Nate that they need to compromise and work on their love languages.

Dr Phil: First Four Minutes Rule

Dr Phil said he asks himself every day what he can do to make his marriage even better. When you have two people doing that, you have a constructive relationship. If all they ever do is deal with problems, you will have a problem marriage.

A good rule to follow, said Dr Phil, is the first four minute rule. In the first four minutes that you are together you don’t talk about problems. You discuss positive things, and then after four minutes you can go into your problems. He said that it has helped his relationship with his wife and they’ve never spoken the word “divorce” in their 36 years together.

Dr Phil’s Final Comments

If you have questions or concerns about negotiating in your marriage, Dr Phil highly recommends his new book Life Code. You can pick it up in your favorite stores today.


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