Dr. Phil: Is This Mother Abusive?
Dr. Phil has been sitting down with Jeanne, who says her 17-year-old daughter Cheyenne has gotten completely out of control since she started dating Josh, a 28-year-old man. Cheyenne has said she wants out of the house because of her mother’s abuse.
Cheyenne says she hates her mom. She called the cops on Jeanne recently because Jeanne took her cell phone away and when she did it, she grabbed Cheyenne by the collar, breaking her necklace and leaving a scratch. Jeanne was charged with criminal mischief and child endangerment.
Dr. Phil: Years of Abuse
Cheyenne said that this was nothing new. She claims her mom beat her constantly when she was a kid. Cheyenne said her mom would push her and throw her around, especially if she didn’t listen.
“Even if I was crying a lot, she would not stop. I was on the top bunk and my mom pulled me off the top bunk onto the floor. She screamed in my face until I cried. My mom enjoyed having me live in fear,” Cheyenne said.
Cheyenne said her mom once hit her with an extension cord and the next day, the vice principal called CPS. “My mom has never been a mother to me,” Cheyenne said.
Dr. Phil: Is She A Good Mom?
Jeanne admits to getting into arguments and says it’s true about the extension cord, but it wasn’t on purpose. Child Protective Services has been called a few times, but every time it’s been unfounded.
Dr. Phil wondered what kind of grade she’d give herself as a parent. Jean said she’s sometimes a good parent and sometimes bad. She’s attended parenting classes and gone to counseling. She said Cheyenne’s not around. Cheyenne said that her father lives in the same town but her mom doesn’t let her see her father.
Cheyenne said that Jeanne told her that her father cared more about his other kid than her. Jeanne said that it’s true and that she pointed it out to her. Dr. Phil told Jeanne she should stop talking.
Dr. Phil: Making Decisions
Dr. Phil said that when you make changes in your life, make sure you move toward something you want rather than just away from something you don’t want. He said sometimes we want to make decisions not because we want something in particular, but because anything is better than where we are.
“I’m just wondering when you’re going to encounter an adult in your life that doesn’t behave like a child,” Dr. Phil said.
Dr. Phil said that it’s terrible parenting to tell a child her father doesn’t love her. He said that Jeanne is pushing Cheyenne right into the arms of Josh. Dr. Phil also brought up the fact that Jeanne let Cheyenne’s boyfriends sleep over in the past.
Dr. Phil: Are They Getting Married?
In three months, Cheyenne will turn 18. She’s engaged right now to Josh, but she says she wants to wait until after college to get married.
Dr. Phil: Put Yourself First
Dr. Phil said that sometimes you have to give yourself what you wish you were getting from others. Cheyenne wishes she had a father in her life, to answer questions and help her along in life. Cheyenne has said Josh is more like a father to her than anybody else in her life. Dr. Phil said that a parent-child relationship mixed into a romantic relationship is a terrible dynamic.
Dr. Phil told Cheyenne that she needs to be selfish and decide what she wants her life to be. She said certain decisions that she’s making right now could affect her life for years to come. He said she could become an independent professional by going to college or wind up pregnant with a partner who can’t see their child without supervision. Dr. Phil added that if Josh really cared about her, he would be making choices that supported her.
Dr. Phil also told Jeanne that she needs to be a better parent and do a better job of helping her daughter. Dr. Phil said he thought if Cheyenne selfishly focuses on her life, she really has a chance to change her life.