Dr. Phil: Man Beats Wife With Wooden Spoon
Dr. Phil has been sitting down with an abusive husband and father named Kirby, who was secretly videotaped by his wife spanking her with a wooden spoon and beating his son. After nearly an hour of conversation, Kirby still didn’t really seem to see the error of his ways. He said he beat his wife because she had demons and because he thought she was narcissistic and he wanted to beat that out of her. Kirby also said he did it because his wife kept hitting him and yelling at him in front of the children. He wondered what he was supposed to do in that situation and didn’t feel like what he did was wrong, because he claims he didn’t know what else to do.
Kirby’s rationales and reasoning were like a maze and I was kind of getting lost in what he had to say. The guy seemed to genuinely want help to know how to change, but he also seemed to genuinely be able to see through his own manipulative tendencies. It was also hard to look past anything he’d done and actually care about his growth.
Dr. Phil: Kicked Out of Anger Management
Kirby was actually kicked out of anger management because they said he didn’t learn anything and he couldn’t see what he did wrong. Kirby said that there were a bunch of people in anger management who “truly abused their wives”. Kirby said that he was there 10 weeks and they didn’t feel like he’d gotten anywhere.
Kirby said he believed his wife provoked him to spank her on videotape to “get him out of the house”. Dr. Phil said he set himself up because he knew the cameras were there.
Dr. Phil: Abusive Man Compares Himself To Jesus
Kirby then proceeded to compare himself to Jesus. “A third of the angels left heaven. Do we blame God for that? Seven of the disciples left Jesus. Do we blame Jesus for that? Because society says spanking is so horrible doesn’t mean it’s wrong,” he said.
Dr. Phil said he knew Jesus and Kirby was no Jesus. He also said he didn’t understand the analogy. Kirby then mentioned the time Jesus got mad in the temple and flipped the tables. Then Kirby said there wasn’t much difference between him and Jesus. The audience was shocked by this statement.
Kirby said he’s tried counseling and he’s tried reasoning with his wife, but he really didn’t know what to do or why he spanked his wife or beat his son. Dr. Phil said it was because he was a “self-righteous, sanctimonious, know-it-all”.
Dr. Phil’s Advice For Kirby
Dr. Phil answered Kirby’s question of what he was supposed to do when his wife acted aggressively toward him. Dr. Phil said the first thing is to look at himself and figure out what he’s doing in the situation to antagonize it. He would also analyze what he’s doing to figure out what he might have done to escalate the situation and what he can do to defuse it.
Dr. Phil added that respect is commanded, not demanded. He said that Kirby shouldn’t try to dominate the people in his life, because they’ll never be endeared to him that way.
Tune in September 23, 2014, to Dr. Phil, when he finally hears from Kirby’s wife!