Dr Oz: Transgender Lives
Dr Oz was talking to a transgender woman named Tina who transitioned five years ago. Now, Tina and her wife Mary are still married, and are facing the challenges and complications of their marriage together. Mary joined Dr Oz to talk about when she first realized that her husband may have a gender identity issue.
Mary shared that she didn’t know what it was, but when they were dating, Tina, who was then known as Tom, told her that he liked to wear women’s clothes once in a while, but she would never have to see it. She thought maybe it was a fetish and that he was so wonderful that she could deal with it. But then, she started noticing women’s shoes and clothes who were clearly not hers, and she wondered what it was about.
Dr Oz: Coping With Husband’s Transition
She said that went on for a while but then there was one point where Tom came home from work and was in the bathroom for quite a long time. She said she didn’t know what was going on because she knew Tom was depressed, so she almost knocked down the door. Tom told her, “I’m sorry but I just can’t live like this anymore.”
Tina shared with her wife that she had to be who she was, and Mary said she didn’t know what she was going to do but the one thing she knew for sure was that she loved her husband so much that she wasn’t going to just run away. She knew she was going to see what happened and deal with it day to day. When Tina finally shared three years ago that she was going to go through the transition, Mary cried a lot and was very depressed, until she thought if Tina doesn’t do it, she may lose her completely.
Mary said she knew that if Tina went through the transition, it meant that she still got to have her around as her best friend. Mary said, “We are soul mates.”
Dr Oz: Marriage After Transition
Tina said considering the alternative, wearing a dress seemed to be very attractive. She said there’s nothing more depressing than having no self to relate to. She was hurting herself by repressing who she was.
Tina said their marriage is wonderful, and they’re very intimate but in a different sense. She said, “We’ve lost one vocabulary for love and come up with a thousand others.” Mary said they’re best friends and they enjoy their lives together. She said she had many friends and family tell her to divorce her husband.
Tina shared that it was a real struggle for family members who were part of a very strict Christian faith, and Tina said they found a way to honor their faith and her at the same time, as well as Mary for sticking with her.
Dr Oz: Transgender Woman On Attraction & Bruce Jenner
Tina shared that she finds men attractive in a way that she never had before, but she far prefers the company of women. She joked that she would prefer to be at the bar with Mary talking about how cute Dr Oz looks. She said that while she finds men attractive, she could never see herself, even if she weren’t married, going that far. She joked that she knows too many of men’s secrets.
As for what Tina believes is going on in Bruce Jenner‘s family right now, Tina said she has a hard time imagining what’s going on. She said to face that level of publicity, she hopes Bruce is spending time thinking about himself and his family. Mary said his family must be so scared, because when she first found out about her husband, she had no idea what it was.
Dr Oz said he believes that people are often fearful and judgmental about what they don’t know or understand. He wanted to share Tina’s story so that everyone can see she is just a person trying to live her authentic life.